Reaching out for couples counseling comes with a lot of questions — and that's exactly how it should be. Here are honest answers to the ones I hear most often.
Couples counseling isn't about sitting on a couch while someone decides who's right, and it isn't about rehashing every argument you've ever had. It's about learning how to actually talk to each other, in ways that work for both of you.
Together, we look at what's going well, where things keep breaking down, and what each of you needs to feel connected. Some of that work is practical, giving you real tools you can use at the kitchen table on a Tuesday night, and some of it goes deeper into the patterns and past experiences each of you brings into the relationship.
Not at all — you don't have to wait until things are falling apart to get support. Many of the couples I see are somewhere in the messy middle: navigating a big decision, feeling more like roommates than partners, or stuck having the same conversation on repeat.
It helps to think of counseling as maintenance for your relationship rather than a last resort, and couples who come in early usually find that things improve faster.
No — my role isn't to referee, and no one walks into my office to be ganged up on. My client is the relationship itself, which means my job is to make sure both of you feel heard and supported.
That said, I will challenge each of you at times. Growth rarely happens when everyone stays comfortable, and part of my role is to lovingly point out the patterns you can't see from the inside.
This is very common, and completely normal. It's rare for both partners to arrive equally enthusiastic, and one of you is usually the one who found this page.
A hesitant partner doesn't mean counseling won't work, and skepticism is welcome here. Simply showing up is a solid first step, and most reluctant partners find that it feels very different than they expected.
It depends on what you're coming in with. Some couples work through a specific issue in a handful of sessions, while others want to do deeper work over a longer stretch, so there's no one-size-fits-all timeline and I won't pretend there is.
What I can promise is that we'll check in on your progress regularly, so counseling keeps serving your goals and doesn't go on longer than it needs to.
Absolutely — all couples are welcome here. Whatever your relationship looks like, you can expect an affirming space that is free of judgment.
Yes — this is actually one of my specialties. Neurodivergence shows up in relationships in real ways, whether that's missed cues, different sensory needs, mismatched communication styles, or one partner feeling like the "manager" of the household, and none of it means your relationship is broken.
I work with couples where one or both partners have ADHD or are autistic, whether diagnosed or self-identified, and together we build strategies that honor how each of your brains actually work instead of trying to force one of you to be someone you're not.
Yes, you can. Couples counseling isn't only for repairing a relationship — sometimes it's for getting clarity about one. If you're at a crossroads, this is a space to slow down and figure out what's true for each of you, without pressure in either direction.
My goal isn't to keep every couple together no matter what; it's to help you make intentional, respectful choices that both of you can stand behind.
If that happens, we're in the right place. Couples fight, sometimes right there on my couch, and that isn't a problem — it's actually useful. I'm not going to rush in and smooth things over or pretend the tension isn't in the room; instead, we'll work with it rather than around it.
When conflict shows up live, you get something that no amount of talking about your fights can give you: the chance to practice handling a hard moment differently, in real time and with support. That practice is where the real change happens.
Just as important, you also get to practice repairing conflict. Every couple fights, and what separates the couples who thrive isn't the absence of conflict but how they find their way back to each other afterward. Learning to reach for your partner after a rupture, right there in the room, is one of the most powerful things we can do together.
Yes, early on. Near the beginning of our work, I typically meet with each partner one-on-one so I can understand each of your perspectives and histories, and after that our sessions are together.
If it becomes clear that one of you would benefit from your own individual therapy alongside our work, I'll say so and help you find the right fit.
Yes — what's shared in session stays in session. I take your privacy seriously, and everything you share is protected by law, with a few narrow exceptions involving safety that I'll walk you through clearly before we begin.
Yes, I'm in-network with most major plans in Oklahoma, including Aetna, BCBS, HealthChoice, Oscar, Medica, UHC, UMR, and WebTPA. If you're paying out of pocket, sessions are $155 for 50 minutes.
Coverage for couples counseling varies by plan, so verifying your benefits before our first session is the easiest way to know what you'll pay. I'm happy to help you make that call. You can find more details on my Fees & Insurance page.
I offer both. In-person sessions happen at my office in Yukon, and secure telehealth sessions are available anywhere in Oklahoma. Online sessions are just as effective for most couples, and they make life a lot easier when schedules, distance, or childcare are in the mix.
One thing worth knowing is that because I'm licensed in Oklahoma, both partners need to be physically in the state during our sessions, so if travel takes one of you out of state we'll simply reschedule.
I hear this a lot, and a past experience that fell flat doesn't mean counseling can't help you. It might mean the timing was off, the approach wasn't the right match, or the person simply wasn't the right fit.
When we start, we'll talk openly about what didn't work before so we can do something different this time, because you deserve an approach that actually fits the two of you rather than a rerun of what you've already tried.
Getting started is simple. Call me at (405) 556-0478 or send a message through my contact form, and I'll get back to you within one business day so we can talk about what's going on and whether we're a good fit.
There's no pressure and no sales pitch — just a conversation.
If something's on your mind that isn't covered here, just ask — reaching out doesn't commit you to anything, and it's simply the first conversation.
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